Stargazed

There’s something about stars in the sky that gives me a glimpse of hope, of happiness, of peace.

About six years ago I became fascinated with the subject of stars. I even took an astronomy class my second year of college. Although it was interesting to learn about galaxies, stars, constellations, the sun and cosmology, I took a more spiritual approach to my fascination.

It started shortly after my Great Auntie Sharon passed away in 2012, less than two weeks into the new year. My friend, Katie, posted on my Facebook page a picture captioned with the Eskimo proverb “Perhaps they are not stars in the sky but rather openings where our loved ones shine down to let us know they are happy.”  My friend was with me when I found out about Sharon – she knew how hard I was taking her death. But I’m not sure she knows how much her post lit up the darkness in my heart.

In 2015 I lost a dear friend of mine, Jake. As with Sharon, I believed he was shining his love down from the sky letting us all know he was okay. That was how I remained okay.

We find ourselves struggling to fall asleep at night, starring into the darkness, reminiscing. Should I have just skipped my psychology class to see Sharon one last time? Maybe I could have said goodbye. What if I would have just messaged Jake that day to see how he was doing, halfway across the county? Maybe I could have saved him.

Then we open the blinds, look up at the sky and see the speckles of light that ease our minds.

I’ve obtained an obsession with the stars – I keep my loved ones memories alive through all things stars.

So, I suppose the galaxy print fad is a good thing for me. I have my PlayStation 4 theme as “particles,” I have the Nintendo 3DS XL – Galaxy Style. I couldn’t have been more stoked about Breaking Benjamin’s new Dark Before Dawn album. Also, Avenged Sevenfold’s The Stage album cover made me smile – it features the band logo in the galaxy. I write poetry about the stars.  In a story I’m writing, there are multiple worlds and one of them is only lit by starlight.

Although the proverb says “perhaps they are not stars,” I believe they are both. I believe they are stars in the sky and our loved ones shining down letting us know they are happy.

Maybe I’m crazy. Maybe I’m just stargazed. Maybe I, like others, want something to believe in to know our loved ones are okay – are at peace – so we can be too.

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