PANDA EYES [black eyeliner, continued]

As promised, here is the continuation of my previous post. (And just for coming back, here’s my Instagram — take a glimpse into my world, with and without eyeliner.)

People always asked me why I wore my eyeliner the way I did. My default response was usually “because I do.” That was the truth. I didn’t wear it to rebel. I didn’t wear it to stand out. I painted my face the way chose, the way I liked. My black eyeliner was me.

Most people told me to stop hiding my beautiful face. Most people said I looked better without it. But I liked my face better with heavy black eyeliner. That was all that mattered. Honestly, the only reason I stopped wearing my thick eyeliner is because I knew, after college, I’d have to get a “big girl job” and in big girl world my panda eyes would be deemed unacceptable.

I can’t tell count how many times people said I looked like a raccoon, whether they said it to my face or whispered it in someone’s ear. I just wish people would have been more original with their attempted insults.

My friend Ajax (my given nickname to her) said I looked like a panda. That comment actually made me smile. You see, pandas are cute and our mutual friend Nani loves pandas. Nani passed her love of pandas on to me, the humanized panda.

I miss my panda eyes.

Not only were they my panda eyes–they were my pirate eyes, my Taylor Momsen eyes.

This past weekend I got my eyes back.

My boyfriend, my best friend and I went to see The Pretty Reckless at The Sandlot in Green Bay, Wisconsin. That was one of the best nights of my life. My love caught me a drumstick!

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Call me silly because I’ve never met Taylor Momsen, but she just might be my third favorite person. I mean just look at her rocking that stage.

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She looks about as happy as I was when I got my face back.

When Momsen knows she’s being photographed, she rarely smiles. People wonder why. I don’t, though. I think it’s the eyeliner.

Once Upon a Time: Black Eyeliner

So, I’m going get a little more personal in this post.

Once upon a time, I used to wear heavy black eyeliner every day, for years. I religiously wore my eyeliner starting my freshman year of high school until I was a senior in college. So, about 10 years. And boy, did I receive some negative comments and ugly looks. Some include:

  •  “You’re emo. Go cut yourself.”
  • “Did it hurt when you got punched in the face?” (Not offensive, just way overused)

Most of the people who gave me nasty looks and rude comments were adults in their 40s and 50s. Sad, isn’t it?

On a lighter note (ah, the contrast), I also received some delicate comments.

When I was in college and working in retail, this little girl, about 4 years old, turned to her dad and said “Daddy, that right there looks like a pirate.” Little did that sweet girl know, I was (and still am, actually) obsessed with pirates.

It’s both heartwarming and heartbreaking that the nicest compliment I received was from a 4-year-old.

There was also my former co-worker and the occasional person who said I resembled Kesha. For that, I was also flattered. I love Kesha, for many reasons.

But then there was Taylor Momsen. Ah, yes, Taylor Momsen. My favorite idol.

I’ve been a fan of Momsen ever since she starred as Cindy Lou Who in the 2000 version of Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas. I grew up with Momsen. She’s only a couple of years younger than I am and she was/is in everything I was/am intoThe Grinch, Gossip Girl and, my favorite, The Pretty Reckless.

Soon after her role as Jenny Humphrey in Gossip Girl ended, she started focusing more on her music and her band. I discovered she was into heavy metal, rock, classic rock–and so on–as was I. And then…Her. Black. Eyeliner.

I was overjoyed that she, of all celebrities, painted her face the same way I did. I’d never met or knew of anyone else who did that (aside from the rock bands back in the day…) I may not know Taylor Momsen personally, but as soon as I discovered she wore heavy black eyeliner too, and the music she was into, I felt like I knew her a little better.

The only way anyone could somewhat understand is if they too, once upon a time, wore–or still do–heavy black eyeliner.

PS
My next post will be a continuation of this post. It will be about Taylor Momsen, my first time seeing The Pretty Reckless, and that same way I “paint my face.” So, please, stay tuned!

xoxo,
the woman in black

Vantablack–darker than black

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Well my fellow the color black lovers, the moment has come that we’ve all been waiting for. A color even darker than black exists.

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Looks like I’ll stop wearing black soon. But first they have to start making outfits in vantablack.

Apparently this color was discovered two some years ago. I know, how could someone so obsessed with the color black not find this discovery sooner? I actually found out yesterday when my boyfriend posted a vantablack link on my Facebook page.

The color is so dark that the human eye can’t recognize it as a color; it sees it more as a void, a black hole.

Take a look in the image below, the object that is vantablack doesn’t seem like it is placed on the foil, it seems as if there is a hole in the foil. It’s astounding, really. Especially for those who truly appreciate the beauty of the color black and darkness alone.

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I swear vantablack looks like the bottom of my purse in the movie theater when I’m searching for my chap stick.

Here are some quick facts about vantablack:

1. Light cannot reflect on it
2. Known to be the darkest material ever made (it’s not technically a color–but I refuse to accept that)
3. You can’t purchase it, at least not yet… (*fingers crossed*)
4. It’s intended purpose was to make stealthy aircraft and better telescopes

Check out additional uses of the world’s darkest material in this Mental Floss article.

You can find out more about this black-hole-like color in The New York Times article, published back in November of 2014.

I just hope I can buy a vantablack dress in the near future. Like 2017, please.

black lines.

This past weekend I went to my first legitimate concert! (Festivals, such as Rock USA, don’t count as a legit concert in my book–and neither does seeing Foreigner at a fair with one original band member…)

I went to see Mayday Parade with one of my best friends. The Maine was also there, they played before Mayday.

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The band, which has been around since 2005, is currently on its American Lines Tour. Mayday’s latest album, Black Lines is probably one of my favorites (okay, so I love all of the albums equally!)

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My friend, Marissa, actually introduced me to the band a few years back. I’m not quite sure how I’d never heard of them before but they instantly became a favorite of mine. “They just get me. They get my life,” I’d tell Marissa. I couldn’t have been more excited to attend my first concert with “my Pipes,” as I call her, and that it was a Mayday concert.

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Here’s me and my friend at the Mayday concert! 🙂

It was amazing. I was never sure I’d be a concert-going person because of the atmosphere, but it’s truly awesome seeing a band you relate to so much on stage singing lyrics about your life.

My friend and I actually plan on seeing Disturbed next month! Now they have been one of my favorite bands for well over a decade. I can’t wait. I’m sure I will find a way to relate it to the “black” theme of my blog so I can write about the experience!

 

and the recipe calls for black raspberries or blackberries.

So now that the spring semester is winding down–only two weeks left–I decided to look up some recipes of two of my favorite fruits to try over the summer (although, I’m not really sure of the difference between the two). There’s so much one can make with such simple fruits, here are a few recipes.

The first recipe I’m going to make once I’m free of homework is Blackberry Champagne Bellini. After countless sleepless nights this semester, I’m going to need a drink. I’m starting with such a simple recipe because frankly it’s going to take all the energy I have left to pour a glass of anything and simply drop a raspberry in there. At this point I’ll be surprised if I can even stay awake to drink the thing.

bbcThen after that, or as I sip on the tall glass of champagne,  I want to nibble on a blackberry dessert. I love blackberry cheesecake and I love brownies so what better than to combine the two? Perhaps you’ll enjoy it too! Blackberry Cheesecake Brownies.      bbccbThis next recipe I found that I want to try is Black Raspberry Cheesecake Milkshake and oh boy does it look good. Thanks to the “cheesecake” aspect, it works as a dessert drink. And thanks to it being a “milkshake” it works for breakfast. That’s right, dessert and breakfast. Don’t let anyone else convince you otherwise.

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As I was looking for recipes I decided to seek out the difference between the two berries that share the same color. Have you ever wondered what the difference is between blackberries and black raspberries? Well wonder no more. Check out this Huffington Post/Huffpost Taste article where you can also find additional (and simple) blackberry and black raspberry recipes.

Have any good blackberry and/or black raspberry recipes you’ve tried? Share in the comments below!

somewhere in the title: black

I was going to do a post on the recent trends found on Twitter and Tumblr involving the hashtag black–which I’ll save for a future post–but I haven’t been able to leisure read for a while so I decided to look up some good reads to add to my list for when I have time, and if you enjoy reading too, perhaps you can add them to yours. Naturally, they have the word “black” somewhere in the title.

The first interesting read I found was a book from author Robert M. Drake. The book is called Black Butterfly.

It contains a collection of experiences and memories of Drake’s life after one of his brothers died. “The black butterfly is a symbol for the transformation of rebirth after death.”

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Another book is The Black Veil by T.J. Charles.

Chyna has it all: a good modeling career, a caring brother, a romance with a multimillionaire, but, she is having reoccuring nightmares of her dead mother and suspicion that things aren’t what they seem. And she is soon faced with life or death situations when the dangerous nature of
her reality sets in.blackveil_bookAnd if you haven’t heard about it by now, for whatever reason, perhaps you should. I’ve seen both seasons of the show and am counting down the days until June 12th when the third season is released on Netflix, but I have yet to read the book. Of course I could only be referring to the #1 New York Times Bestselling memoir by Piper KermanOrange is the New Black: My Year in a Woman’s Prison.

Kerman writes about her transition from civilian life to inmate life when she had to serve a fifteen month sentence after a crime from her past caught up to her. She also writes why so many women get sent to prison and what happens to them while they’re there.
orangeisthenewblack_bookOf course these are only three of many good reads with “black” in the title. I encourage you to search Amazon.com or goodreads.com, or whatever other site, and let me know if you find any other interesting books with “black” in the title. Or if you just know of some, let me know and then I can add them to this post or a future post.

the meaning of the color black.

So all this talk about black things; black clothes, black decor, seeing black everywhere without realizing it, but what does the color mean? I conducted some research to let you know.

First, let’s start with some definitions of “black” from Dictionary.com and Merriam-Webster:

  • very sad, gloomy, or calamitous
  • connected with or invoking the supernatural and especially the devil: black magic
  • the color at one extreme end of the scale of grays, opposite to white, absorbing all light incident upon it

My favorite, which might explain why I love the color so much:

  • characterized by absence of light; enveloped in darkness: a black night

If you’re curious for more definitions, click on the links above. There is, however, a deeper meaning to the color black beyond these definitions. I discovered a blog, Sensational Color, created by color expert Kate Smith, where she posted an entry to help describe this deeper meaning.
black_defwBourn Creative, a design company and creative studio, has a blog on its site where the meaning of the color black is discussed, the post is by Jennifer Bourn, a designer and detail strategist for Bourn Creative.

  • Black “affects the mind and body by helping to create an inconspicuous feeling, boosting confidence in appearance, increasing the sense of potential and possibility, or producing feelings of emptiness, gloom, or sadness.”

For me, the meaning of the color black relates to what I mentioned in this post, but is also a bit different.

Struggling with depression for years, I identify with the color black. Sure, I like other colors and I’ll buy and wear things of other colors but I don’t have a personal connection to them. It seems ironic, considering black is associated with sadness, emptiness, gloom, and pertaining to depression, but black is my happy color. I love the darkness, the mysterious aspect to it; one can be hidden in it, it is a keeper of secrets.

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“Black is my favorite color. It’s limitless. It’s indefinable. It keeps you guessing. When there’s nothing to see, you’re forced to imagine. It makes every shape, every person more mysterious because you can’t see all the details.”

Katie Kacvinsky, Middle Ground